What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

How do I know if he loves me? When he wants me to be his gf he make time for me and send me morning and night messages and done everything to melt my heart. Now I am his gf and he don't treat me that way now.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

What! how could you do that?

What happen if all of a sudden a movie star decides to quit acting?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

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Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What do you mean son?

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Do you know what she said mum?